We all have that guy in our lives who does just enough to get by. Whether at work, or in our personal lives. He's not fit, not fat. Not rich, not poor. Not smart, not stupid. He's neither attractive nor ugly, not driven, nor lazy. He just is. Easily overlooked and definitely forgettable. But sometimes this serial under achiever surprises not just himself, but every damn person who surrounds him. Think of that special guy at Safeway who is bagging your groceries and how your thought immediately goes "Man, what a good company to employ this special guy and give this kid a chance to be productive in society." with the very next thought being "Don't let that fucking booger eater touch my produce. Too late, Now I have to throw those damn bananas out when I get home." Then you begin to walk out, look to your left and you see that cross-eyed bastard's picture hanging under the Employee of the Month.
Well that's the exact scenario that played out across 18 holes in Ridgefield last Sunday. Ben, Roe, Roedog, The Dog, Roeder, Cumdog or however you refer to him went and exceeded expectations. A wire to wire win that was never in doubt. Just like ol' Special Ed from Safeway he kept showing up, doing what was asked of him and rode that wave to a runaway win in Ridgefield. Making as many pars as bogeys on the front 9. Offsetting the 1 double bogey on the round with a birdie, he played what many assume was the round of his life on his way to a gross 81 net 67 and a 4 stroke win.
Congrats to you Roedog, the World's Okayest Golfer.
On to the Lowlights:
9th Place - Sloppy Joe. Oh how the mighty have fallen? Never in contention, fires a 103 to ensure that he's back to a 20 HCP in no time. Welcome back to your rightful place in the pecking order.
8th Place - The Pro. The Joes combine to shoot +28. What else can be said, other than it is great to see you more than your standard 1x/year. Also, The Pro 2.0 can come play anytime.
7th Place - The Snake. Out of the basement he comes. Highest finish of the year and a 43 back 9 may be a sign of things to come.
6th Place - Precious. Out of contention by hole 4. Why do I even play this game. The Duffer's seems so long ago.
5th Place - RYM. 50 front. 37 back. Be careful if this guy shows up sans hangover. By the time it wore off it was too late.
4th Place - Spanky. 3 way tie for low gross and highest finish of the year. Only a matter of time before he puts one away. As long as he doesn't get mauled by his dog or a 1 armed wrestler, he's going to be just fine.
3rd Place - El Toro. Boring fucking golf. does it on 1 leg after partially re-tearing his labia comes back to finish 3rd. Will he win 1?
2nd Place - Hellboy. The return of this handsome devil was ruined by the Dog's prowess. But coming to life as the weather begins to turn. Could be trouble come US Open time.
Congrats again to our Champ, Roeder. May you never have another victory.
Onwards and Upwards,
President Precious
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