The results from the midway point of the year are in and as a follow up to Mr. All-America winning the U.S. Open, guess who won the Stoners Open at Stone Creek? You'll only need 1 guess. Yes, Mr. Wake and bake himself, Spanky, is this years Stoner's Open Champion. The Cash (limited), the Sword (sharp) and the bong (empty) are yours along with the pride of beating a field that did it's absolute damnedest to not win. From Precious jumping out to a 5 stroke lead in 6 holes to The Pro shooting a Sloppy-esque 108, no one in the field outside of a hobbled Roedog and a determined Toro wanted it more than Spanky. Going out in 45, this man turned it around as his morning high wore off and shot a 41 coming home, highlighted by a birdie on 10 to build the confidence.
Congratulations to Spanky on winning what should have been his second trophy of the year after the debacle that was the Tournament at Pumpkin Ridge.
On to the LowLights:
The aforementioned Pro goes High. How High? like Redman, Method Man High - 108
The Gun (?) ya. Take your 3 HCP and shove it. Pressure gets him and a pedestrian 45 is the exact welcome he needed.
Headcase has 1 of 4 birdies from the group. (I'll repeat that 1 of 4. There were 198 holes played and we combined for 4 birdies.) Thinks he's turning it around on the back with a birdie par start only to go 16 over on the remaining 7 holes.
Sloppy Joe, stays in the hunt until stamina plays a cruel, cruel trick on him. 15 over during a 4 hole stretch on the back nine. Who's dog did you kick? Something is out to get you.
Chambermaid stays as cool as the other side of the pillow with a consistent round yet again. Consistently bad, but fuck, it's consistent.
Easy knew what was in store as soon as the double bogey dropped on 1. No Payday but he got to look forward to the blunt at the clubhouse for 17 holes.
The Rabbi back from his sabbatical goes 44/44. Good for a 5th place finish. Not enough to move him out of the basement of the league. Wait never mind, Dozer still occupies that spot with his last place finish at the PGA Championship
Precious chokes. Fuck Everyone and everything.
Roedog gives this baby a run and comes as close to winning a tourney since he choked away the masters 2 months ago. Maybe the bad Ju-Ju has worn off? He also, smacks the shit out of the Pro in their match play.
El Toro conitnues his good, but not good enough play. This guy will win a trophy.....when we start handing out 2nd place trophies. Goes low gross with an 84.
Pos. | Degenerate | Net | Score | Fedex Pts. |
1 | Spanky | 70 | -2 | 50 |
T2 | El Toro | 72 | E | 24.5 |
T2 | Roedog | 72 | E | 24.5 |
4 | Precious | 73 | +1 | 13.5 |
5 | Rabbi | 75 | +3 | 11 |
6 | Easy | 76 | +4 | 10 |
T7 | Chambermaid | 77 | +5 | 8.75 |
T7 | Sloppy | 77 | +5 | 8.75 |
9 | Headcase | 80 | +8 | 8 |
10 | The Pro | 98 | +26 | 7.5 |
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