So here we are, early summer and it's getting real. From 1st time winners to DNF's via roofies.
Recap this week will be a little different. Let me know what you think in the comments below.
Prediction - 80 and a 'ship
Actual - 81 and a 'ship
Difference - -1
Some firsts you remember for a life time, your first car or your first love. Some firsts you wish you could redo or even relive like your first kiss or first concert. Some you don't remember like your first steps or first words and are lucky if they were caught via video either in 4k in the case of Connor, aka Conman, aka Removed User, or in black and white as in the case of Dozer. Some of these firsts define the man you've become such as your first job or the first finger in your butt in an orgy. What type of man are you? The type that pulls away or the type that pushes back into it? Well, our 2023 Stoner's Open Champion is the type to push back into it on his way to capturing his first title as a member of the "12".
After being in a position to win 2 events ago at the Reserve and then again 2 weeks ago at the US Open before falling just short, Conman pushes through with a decisive win at the Stoners open to take home the coveted sword and vase trophies along with popping his cherry and getting his first, of what one can only assume, will be many titles along the way. How decisive was this victory you might ask? Well, to start he held off 4 other players in red numbers (disclaimer: 1 of those was Sloppy so really 3 others), held off a resurgent Dozer. (Who knew that getting his intestines fixed not only fixed his morning shits but also would help his shit game.) Held off not 1 but 2 Master's champions in Chambermaid and Railing Your Mom. He also goes low gross with his with back 9 being better than his 40 front! Under pressure, this young man with a swing that makes Bagger Vance smile from beyond the grave, birdies #18 to make this a no-doubter. Congrats on the win, Removed User. You earned it!
Precious - 11th Place and the years first DNF due to drugs. Thanks Doz.
Prediction - 96
Actual - DNF
Difference - Infinite
Easy - 10th Place with a sub 90 round. It's a rough time to be so smooth.
Prediction - 78
Actual - 89
Difference - +11
Headcase - 9th Place. 45 good. 53 bad.
Prediction - 85
Actual - 98
Difference - +13
Roedog - 8th Place. How does someone that looks this good, play this bad?
Prediction - 85
Actual - 93
Difference +8
Spanky - 7th Place and it feels good to see him not win. Doesn't it?
Prediction - 82
Actual - 86
Difference - +4
Hellboy - 6th Place. Big Red with a big discrepancy. Is anyone going to be realistic?
Prediction - 84
Actual - 97
Difference - +13
Sloppy - T4th Place. Red numbers for what we can only assume will be the first and last time this year. Hungover and overheated. Defeated.
Prediction - 100+ and alive
Actual - 93 and alive (damn)
Difference - -7
Dozer - T4th Place. Starts his round by drugging the President. God I love the 12.
Prediction - 94
Actual - 93
Difference - -1
Chambermaid - T2nd. Has there ever been a more unassuming Masters Champion?
Prediction - 85
Actual - 90
Difference - +5
Railing Your Mom - T2nd Place. And from the gutter he rises! RYM is rounding into playing shape as we make the turn.
Prediction - <79
Actual - 81
Difference - +2
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