The results from the seasons second major, The PGA Championship, are in. In his quest for the Grand Slam, please help me congratulate back to back Major winner, Railing Your Mom! This was a true Challenge and RYM, in the final group, held off all cummers to win by 2 strokes on a day where only 5 strokes separated the top 7 contenders.
It is whispered throughout the league that what inspired such a gritty performance from the winner was El Toro's Groupme promise of being able to marry the last place finishers daughter when she turns 12. To add credence to the rumor, RYM asked that the picture above be cropped to above the waist as to not show the throbbing bulge that this man had to haul along with him ever since he made the turn at 3 strokes up.
What more can be said about a man who shaved 3.7 strokes off of his handicap and is positively playing the best golf in the league? Not much is the correct answer.
On the other side of things, a new "12" record was set when Dozer takes a fully confirmed 23 strokes on #14. I will let El toro narrate this:
"1 out drop 2 hit 3, 4 out, drop 5 hit 6, drop 7, hit 8, drop 9, hit 10, drop 11, hit 12, drop 13, hit 14, drop 15, hit 16, drop 17, hit 18, hit 19, hit 20, hit 21, putt 22, putt 23."
If Dozer Doubles that hole he finishes out of the cellar and it's Magic's daughter in danger of taking on the esteemed last name of "Your Mom".
You want a sign of how bad the rest of the field outside of the top 7 played?
Dozer doubles the 14th instead, shaves 16 strokes from his gross and beats Magic, Chambermaid, Sloppy, and Hellboy!
In the exact words from our Champion "Every hole matters, boys." I feel gross typing that. Hopefully I got the words in the right order but something tells me I did not.
Fun fact:
What is the worst single-hole score on the PGA Tour?
The worst single-hole golf score of all time on the PGA Tour is Ray Ainsley's 23 on the par-4 16th at Cherry Hills during the 1938 U.S. Open. While the tour didn't keep records of single-hole scores at that time, his 19 over par is still recognized by the PGA Tour as the worst ever.
On to the Results:
Pos | Degenerate | Net | Score | Pts. |
1 | Railing Your Mom | 69 | -3 | 60 |
T2 | Easy | 71 | -1 | 27 |
T2 | Spanky | 71 | -1 | 27 |
T4 | California | 72 | E | 13.5 |
T4 | Precious | 72 | E | 13.5 |
T6 | Golden Rod | 74 | +2 | 10.5 |
T6 | Headcase | 74 | +2 | 10.5 |
8 | El Toro | 77 | +5 | 9.4 |
9 | Hellboy | 78 | +6 | 8.8 |
10 | Sloppy | 81 | +9 | 8.2 |
11 | Chambermaid | 86 | +14 | 7.7 |
12 | Magic | 92 | +20 | 7.2 |
13 | Dozer | 93 | +21 | 6.8 |
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