The Results are in from a cold, cold day at 1 of Portland's finest golfing establishments. Ladies, Gentlemen, and Dozer, Please help me in congratulating our 2022 Duffers Open Champion, Hellboy!!!!
Some Highlights from this past Sunday:
No one tells Simple Joe that there is no driving range at the Venue - He proceeds to blame his Front 9 +17 on his inability to get warm prior to the round. Welcome to Rose Shitty, Joe!
Our eventual winner, Hellboy, never falls from first place after the 3rd hole for the most dominating win in this Presidents tenure. (2 Rounds)
Speaking of Hellboy, how the hell doesn't he win every tournament? 8 out of 18 holes Sunday he received a 2 stroke bump. (No Spanky, this sentence has nothing to do with handies and cocaine in a men's restroom.)
Is it too early in the season to start talking about the turn around of the year? Headcase heads out to the season opener, loses just 1 ball, and fires a Gross 117/Net 101 and just 1 week later fires a Gross 90/Net 72!?!?! for a solid second place finish. The nickname is starting to make sense.
Fitz Magic went out and confounded the odds makers and found himself in dead last firing in the triple digits for, what one would assume, the first time in over 4 decades. Tanking his handicap in the process as well as prompting an immediate use of executive powers revolving around handicaps. (See "2022 Handicaps" for update) Do we start calling it Pulling a Rod or Making Magic?
Zero Birdies were made at Rose City, which leads 1 to believe that this is less a golfing league and more a "get me the hell out of this house and away from the wife and kids" social event. Hopefully everyone got to enjoy their "Shank Shots" & "Dammit Drinks".
Cheers Gentlemen. Onward & Upward.
President Precious
Pos. | Degenerate | Net | Score | FedEx Pts. |
1 | Hellboy | 65 | -7 | 50 |
2 | Headcase | 72 | E | 30 |
3 | El Toro | 74 | +2 | 16.25 |
3 | Simple Joe | 74 | +2 | 16.25 |
5 | Spanky | 75 | +3 | 11 |
6 | Chambermaid | 80 | +8 | 10 |
7 | Magic | 87 | +15 | 9 |
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